Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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