the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
