Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
