Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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