I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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