Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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