you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Randomize
