Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
