It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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