About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
