He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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