It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
