worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Mom said you looked used
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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