I feel like abortions should bother me more
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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