you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
She announced her abortion via fbk
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Randomize
