he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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