That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
