Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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