Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
