So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
