She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
