I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
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