I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
