I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Randomize
