**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
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