In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
