id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
