whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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