were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
