you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
