Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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