I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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