How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
