This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
