so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
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