All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Quick, to the slutcave!
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
