Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
