the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
