there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
