i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
So vagazzling was a success
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
