she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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