We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
