Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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