I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Randomize
