I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
