She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
