dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
