Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Girls should come with a carfax report
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
