I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Randomize
