One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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