Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Randomize
