if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Someone signed my nipple.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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