No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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