She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
The struggles of a small town man whore
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
